Let’s flesh empaths out!!
We will start from the beginning.What’s an em-path?
Em-paths are basically people who feel the world too much.
They have a heightened empathy and a hyper perception of emotions, no matter if they are conscious of this or not.
You might know someone who is absolutely drained among large crowds of people, it might be someone from your family, or even you. This is characteristic for Empathy.Right?
Now,what if I tell you that this inherited assumption definition is not all? What if I write a new profile in which a new generation of em-paths are connected to darkness? What if empathize beings can broke and strategically driven to the worst dark side of their souls?Is there a dark side in an em-path? Let´s start with the first MUST traits em-paths like me need to be strict about managing them daily.
In fact, there are 10 essential traits that each authentic Em-path possesses but needs to learn how to manage.
If they leave these traits out of their control, the world might break them!And if they broke, well…
1. THEY ABSORB OTHER PEOPLE’S ENERGY.
Authentic em-paths don’t have a control on the energy they absorb. They are set to tears when someone is crying, feel the rage when someone is angry or sink low when someone is afraid.
Because this is their essential trait, em-paths could not help it. But once they’re aware that the emotion is not actually their own, they can step back and prevent themselves from further exhaustion.
2. THEY ARE HIGHLY INTUITIVE.
Em-paths feel things on a psychic level. They can tell what others feel by looking at them.
They can even feel the intentions behind the words of others and can tell if they are lying. Even if other people don’t tell them, they know what is in their minds.(Author-note*I definitely experience this trait all the time)
Sometimes, they might even get angry at someone just because they’ve read the intentions behind something superficially innocent, and they can’t explain it to no one.
3. THEY ARE DRAINED SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME AROUND PEOPLE.
Em-paths cannot help but absorb the emotions of other people. Such flow of energy is emotionally and mentally draining.
Each em-path needs to install a healthy way of recharging in their lifestyle. For most em-paths that’s spending time alone, watching movies or reading books, hugging trees, nature earthing, or meditation.
4. THEY NATURALLY MAKE OTHER PEOPLE OPEN UP TO THEM.
People, even strangers, can sense when an em-path is there for them to listen to their woes and difficulties.
It’s something in their look, their body language, and coherence in energy that other people find familiar and comforting.
While helping others is an ideal goal in itself, it does not mean that em-paths have to give their energy to every person they meet.
They are humans too who need to have their own life and establish strong boundaries.
5. THEY DO NOT HAVE MANY FRIENDS, BUT FEW REALLY CLOSE.
Em-paths connect with people on a much deeper level than others. They avoid having too many friends because for them it’s either BFF or an acquaintance. There is no in between.
That’s why they do not consider too many people as their real friends but have only 1 or 2 really strong ones. The depth of their friendship is something beyond measure.
6. THEY PREFER LIVING IN A LOCATION SURROUNDED BY NATURE.
Em-paths prefer to be surrounded by nature because they connect with the vibration of their surroundings.
A city, a lively area, a crime area, a highly populated place or busy neighborhood is not an ideal place for an em-path to live.
Em-paths, ideally, need to locate themselves in a country or a neighborhood where the population is not too dense. A place nearby a forest or a mountain is perfect.
7. THEY ARE SENSITIVE SOULS.
Em-paths don’t like to see suffering in others because they feel it.They feel it too much! Sometimes they might even feel the physical pain that others are going through.
When they see violence in TV, they either change channels or walk away. And when they are confronted with an unpleasant scene in a room, they choose to leave when they can’t help it.
8. THEY CAN SENSE WHEN OTHERS ARE LYING.
Em-paths just get it when others are lying. They only couldn’t prove it because they have no proof other than their inner knowing.
Because of this, it’s easy for em-paths to know who to trust and who to avoid.They are hardly wrong.
9. THEY ATTRACT BROKEN PEOPLE.
This gift is what makes em-paths attract broken people. Their emotional state is always in a state of receiving, like an emotional punching bag.
Broken people desperately need to spread the negative emotions and other people usually avoid such encounters.
However, an em-path listens and absorbs. This is where em-paths need to be aware enough to establish a healthy boundary.
10. THEY PUT ASIDE THEIR OWN PROBLEMS.
Em-paths get to the extent of ignoring their own problems and emotions. Carrying the emotions of others as well as their own is an empathizes biggest challenge.
Ergo, what happens when we don´t feel? Are we alive? Is t good and necessary? hmm…
Let´s flesh the dark side of em-paths …
Setting boundaries is a must
A controlled Em-path will generally create very clear boundaries on what they will, and will not tolerate. As well as, what they are responsible for. They will defend those boundaries with everything they have.
Likewise, they will respect their mate’s boundaries, with just as much vigor, if those boundaries are made clear. Mutual agreement on these boundaries, is a must have, to be in a relationship with an Em-path.
There is no room for playing the “blame game” in a relationship, as to who is responsible for what, or tromping all over the other’s turf, as in barging in and “taking over” their responsibilities. Likewise, you cannot just leave “your” responsibilities lying around for your mate to handle for you. There can be no confusion on what is “your” responsibility Vs “my” responsibility.
Be prepared to “do a little dance” if you want to ” make a little love”
Not talking sexuality here, although it does apply in many ways, rather it has to do with how you deal with conflict. Typical action, you have had a fight, blown up all over each other and still angry.
Now, what normally happens in such a case? The cold shoulder and avoidance is pretty common, right? Well, to a point, a bit of distance after an unresolved dispute is wise, but there is a point of taking it too far and doing it too often.
Em-paths, as stated, need both companionship and solitude, but too much solitude, as typically happens when your mad at each other, can be the kiss of death to your relationship, if you’re doing it all the time, and not resolving the issues. This is easier to get into, than you might think.
If every time you approach X subject, it turns into a fight, you tend to avoid talking about it. That’s human nature. Your reasons are honorable. You want to stay together and you are afraid that if you fight, you might lose the other party. So, you become afraid to talk about “that”.
The only problem is, over time the list of “things we don’t talk about” tends to grow, to where you can get to a point where you no longer talk to each other, at all. You are totally detached from each other.
Avoidance, has become a way of life. If you have reached a point of constant avoidance, rather than dealing with the issues. You are utterly ignoring your mate, for anything but mundane, day to day affairs. You are setting up your relationships death knell.
Em-paths do not deal well with being ignored. We need intensity, we need and desire union and confirmation. Too much avoidance can mean you will wake up one morning, and find your empathic mate gone, and you will be standing there, wondering what the hell happened.
So, it’s a dance, a few steps forward and one step back, as needed to resolve issues, but never go too far away, or for too long. Or you will find yourself with what you have inadvertently asked for … you will be alone in truth.
Avoiding toxic relationships
Given an Em-paths capacity for love, it is startling to find that it’s very common for them, to have had a long history of bad or even toxic relationships. We tend to be drawn to people who “need” us, which can, unfortunately lead to an Em-path being in the hands of an abusive person, unless great care is taken.
An abusive person, may well have empathy. Yet it is contrary to what we normally think the term means. They can read the other’s feelings, but are completely detached from feeling them themselves. They must be, as otherwise they could not do such harm to another, and not suffer it themselves. But an Em-path can be fooled into thinking, “this person is another Em-path, they will understand”, only to find themselves with someone who can indeed read them perfectly, but does so for the sole purpose of control, manipulation, and/or to cause fear and pain.
To counter this, we must develop our own emotional stability, that is totally unrelated to any partner. Otherwise, we can be led into some very unhealthy co-dependent relationships and behaviors.
Signs of an Unbalanced Em-path — red flags towards becoming an em-path in the dark side.
As might be expected, the typical signs of an Em-path who is out of balance, is one who doesn’t appear to have any empathy. This is often a self-defense mechanism.And if you don’t feel, you can manipulate every person and situation.
Since what we hear, and what we feel, very often don’t match, we tend to try to focus only on the words, and ignore what we feel. This is typically a mistake, but one that often happens, as we try and avoid the conflict of feeling Vs words. More signs …
Empathy that is uncontrolled, can be overwhelming. Major depression, sadness and other symptoms can abound, and a common means to “deal” with this onslaught, is to drown it in substances that blunt emotions.
This is not the answer to the problem of course, but it can easily happen, and any inclination to develop such unhealthy habits, should be avoided at all costs. So, if your Emphatic mate suddenly takes up such habits, it is a sign that there may be a need to figure out new ways of dealing with the conflicts that arise in any relationship.
Due to lack of controlling the input, we can and often do, become virtual prisoners. Like a turtle, we retreat into a rather hard shell, and hope the bad vibes just go the heck away!Since our power is so universally strong that we can be as bad as we are as good. (Author Note* Remember “Above as beyond”)
This is pointless and self-defeating of course, as it means the very next time we stick our head out, we are going to feel like someone just ran it over with a Mac truck.
So, avoidance is not an answer, we must become desensitized to the emotional wind out there, and not give in to the tendency to become a hermit. If your Emphatic mate, is suddenly avoiding you, again it likely means you need to come up with some more constructive ways to deal with issues.
Major mood swings
The thoughts of others can over amp a person. So, we can vacillate back and forth in a near manic – depressive manner, without actually being bi polar.
Em-paths are emotionally sensitive to violence and chaos. We are not too fond of sudden loud noises either, suddenly blasting the TV or yelling around an Em-path, will often bring nasty, and unexpected results.
To come into a space, yelling and screaming, is liable to cause one of two reactions, you will either get your own rage thrown back at you, with interest … or your mate might react in fear to your anger. Neither of these reactions is conductive to a healthy relationship.
The bulk of current day television, just tends to annoy most Em-paths. Your favorite real-life cop show for example, since it’s happening to real people, is a horror flick to an Em-path. (Author Note* Oddly enough, we might like horror shows, but for us, the more unreal the plot, the better. The closer it comes to any possible “reality”, i.e. it could really happen to real people, the more distressed we are likely to become)
Acts of cruelty and violent crime are incomprehensible to us. Showing things that depict violence done to real people to an Em-path for example, could be setting them up for an emotional tail spin, that might take weeks to get over. And worse, it could let the darkness in our souls. (Darkness=negative emotions)
This is not to say we are, or should be unaware of such things, but forcing such violence on an Em-path unexpectedly, is cruel and uncalled for.
Therefore, don’t be surprised if we don’t want to watch the nine o’clock news with you, or that we become very distressed if we got an email today, that showed us the horror of our world in living color, out of the clear blue sky.
Later, on our own terms, we will keep in touch with the reality of the world, negativity and all, but only when we are ready for it. Forcing it on us, is just setting us up for depression. So, if you like reality TV, expect to watch it … alone.
Mental Health issues
While generally not a cause for mental health issues per se, out of control empathy can make any current mental issue, worse. ADD, agoraphobia or clinical depression are common mental issues that em-paths often find themselves labeled with, whether or not they have such problems, and a little bit of thought about it, can tell you why.
Em-paths are often erroneously labeled with ADD, especially children, as they often are picking up on so many emotional levels, at the same time, that it’s hard to stay focused, which is the most classic sign of ADD.
Agoraphobia, goes back to the tendency to Isolationism, and depression … is all too easy to come down with, as the world all around us contains enough emotional negative baggage to infect even “ordinary” people, much less an Em-path.
Now, is everybody who has these problems an out of control Em-path? No, but it is one to eliminate from probable causes.
Comfort foods, we all enjoy them, but an Em-path under assault, can be driven to the nearest source of comfort food, not out of hunger, but for emotional need. Having a spat with the mate for example, can lead to a chocolate binge, for the simple fact that chocolate raises serotonin in the blood stream, and calms the mind. However, over use of any substance, can become habitual, and lead to health issues. So, if you see your emphatic mate, suddenly chowing down on major amounts of comfort foods, it’s a very good sign there are some issues that need to be resolved.
If they can’t manage to separate other people’s emotions from their own, they are prepping up for an imminent breakdown.Em-paths have to learn to take care of their own issues first, so they can actually help others.Optimum health is an essential part in bringing an em-path’s unique gifts to the world.
So, don’t let the darkness possess you! They are waiting patiently for your breakdown since as a good angel you will be a great bad one. HONOR YOUR GODS GIFT ,HEAL, AND SHINE EM-PATHS SHINE.
From an em-path to others… LOVE YOU ALL.
GOD BLESS YOU.
We read us in my next article…STAY STRONG. BE SAFE.
CARRIE GAARD *CG*